Why Men in the Church Keep Their Secrets part 1

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians: "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." (6:1-5 NIV)

I have known many Christian men who have fallen into sexual sins. They've been caught. They've been confronted. They've confessed. They've repented. And then...they were removed. That's right...removed from fellowship--shunned as a tax collector. Some were told that they are not allowed to come back until further notice. Some were just "put into the church corner" to suffer consequences. All the while, countless other Christian men in these churches are struggling with the same sins, or are quickly on their way to its destruction.

Think with me...you're a guy who is a part of a thriving church. You struggle weekly with viewing pornography on the internet. That stimulus has lost some effect, so you've been tempted to enter 24-hour video stores. You know very well where these activities would lead you. You know you need help, but to whom should you go? To whom should you tell your deep, dark secrets? Then, you receive word that another church member has been caught cheating on his wife. It comes out that his problem started (like most of these problems start) with viewing pornography. Astonishingly, you see how your church leadership handles this guy. They confront him. Then they tell him that he should stay away from the fellowship for a while. They communicate with him only through email. No one calls to check on him. No one seeks to restore him. No one seeks to care for his wife, or kids. Nothing is ever said about him anymore in the church. He's just ... gone.

Now, you're the guy struggling with porn, and you just witnessed all this. Then you think the obvious, "I need help, but there is no way I'm gonna tell anyone here!" And so, you keep your secrets, and fall further into the dark sin that has taken you captive.

Unfortunately, this is far too common in our churches today. I'm sure there are several reasons for this, but I have a theory. I'm convinced that churches in America today are striving to build their own empires. These empires must be well-greased machines that run smoothly with no hick-ups. The bottom line for these churches are programs that are successful at bringing in people. Money is the bottom line. A good-standing status in the community is the bottom line. All the cogs of this empire must continue to be working so well together. It has become powerful, untainted, unharmed, well-planned and executed. It has become an empire. And then, someone comes along and screws it all up.

Churches in America have lost this one profound principle: Ministry is people.

-to be continued.