ACT111

ACT111

Jesus' Love is Undeniably Consistent

I have a friend. His wife just left him. No warning. No evident reason. Just up and left. Left him and their two sons. Both less than 5 years old. She ran off with another man. My friend is in incredible pain as I write this. His Facebook is full of love notes. People are showering him with encouragement, prayers, and comfort. They want to help him, heal him, protect him, and uplift him. It's working. He still hurts, but he is surrounded by loving Christians.

I have another friend. He shacked up with another woman. His wife is forgiving him, but they still hurt. He's the sinner. He screwed up. A fallen soldier. A self-afflicted wounded brother. There are no posts on his Facebook. No one showering him with encouragement. No help. No healing. No protection. No uplifting words. He's avoided. A castaway. Now, he ran away. No one knows where. Speculation by many: "He probably just ran off with another woman. That's what kind of person he is!"

Where are the Christians? Where is Christ's Body?

Here we are. On the earth. Celebrating the birth of the Savior of my sin-wrecked friend.

How quickly we are to hate our own.

To cast our stones.

To throw away.

When such a one,

Loved by the Son,

Needs your grace today.

Grace Greater than Our Sin? Really?

I grew up singing a hymn that contains the line, "grace greater than all our sin..." Now, that's very biblical. But, come on—I mean, let's be truthful, here. Do we really believe that? Sure—it was by His grace that I've been redeemed. I don't have a problem with that. I couldn't do anything to deserve my deliverance from the penalty of my sin. I'm trusting in Christ alone, in His Person and work on the cross, for my deliverance. But, I'm not sure too many of us Christians actually believe in the grace that allows us to live as believers.

Let's be honest, shall we? American Christianity is performance-based. We expect all kinds of fruit from all kinds of Christians. And if any kind of Christian isn't producing enough fruit for us to see—the kind of fruit we wanna see—then many make claim that the person has never really, really trusted Jesus as his Savior. This kind of thinking has led to so many masks worn in so many churches today. Expecting Christians to always act and look certain ways will produce Christians who hide the reality of their inner selves behind a facade of holiness. Seriously, there are no adulterers in your local church, are there? There are no idolaters. There are no thieves, no drunkards, none who covets his neighbor's wife, none who cheats on his taxes, and certainly none who neglects his family. There is a line of religious thinking that has led many believers to cover the truth of their inner selves. They trade authenticity for hypocrisy. Indeed, it's the sacrifice of freedom in living for entrapment of inner guilt, misery, and shame because deep down, they know who they really are. Yet, they don’t want to admit they have inner pride.

I have several friends who are of this persuasion—claiming that all Christians will produce the visible fruit of righteousness for all to see. I've heard ironic conversations with my friends. It's irony because gossip is not a fruit that Christians are to produce, yet these friends of mine gossip about their church members. Neither is slander a holy fruit, or spreading dissension among the brethren, quarreling and bickering, lying, and so on and so on. These same friends expect real Christians to produce real fruit. These friends are pastors who preach this philosophy of religion. And, I know for a fact in their churches are those men and women, believers in Jesus Christ, who are producing visible fruit while at the same time possessing inner turmoil. This turmoil they possess comes in all shapes and sizes: bitterness, envy, self-righteousness, lust, uncontrollable anger, depression, anxiety, worry, impure thoughts. And when it comes time for one of these believers to have his inner life exposed, he is shamed by his fellow priesthood, because Christians just don't do that—they produce fruit. “Know Jesus, know change. No change, no Jesus.” This is what they say. And this believer whose sin has become exposed obviously has not changed. At least, that's what my friends say.

So, this leaves the Body of Christ with only one choice to make: hide. Hide our loneliness, our guilt, our shame, our sin. Cover our depressions. Don't ask for help. We can't trust others to see who we really are. Real Christians don't have these inner stains. Real Christians persevere...or, at least as far as others can tell. Well, the rest of us long for a reality in which we can live. We long to believe in something that would help us aid in our spiritual deficiency. We long for a net to catch us when we fall—a net that will not allow us to die. For, if we were all truly honest with ourselves, each other, and with God, we all truly suffer ridiculously with sin. We are prideful in ways we never thought possible. Oh, if there could be some kind of divine net to catch us when we stumble, no doubt we can/will. If only there were something that would remove our guilt when we repent...again...of that same old sin. If only Someone would keep giving us that which we could never work for in the beginning. If only we knew there would be something beautiful if we were to confess our true inner sin.

I heard a spiritual hero of mine make a comment recently. I'll paraphrase, "We believe in the substitutionary death of Christ, but I don't think we really believe in the substitutionary life of Christ." It is by grace we have been delivered from the penalty of sin. And it is by grace we are delivered from the power of sin. Grace lets us sin, because grace flows out of His love, and His love is freedom. We are free. And when we sin, grace is the net that catches us and keeps delivering us from the penalty of our sin. Paul said in Romans 5, "where sin abounds, grace abounds much more." That was written to believers. To you and me. So why do I keep myself in the midst of my own guilt and shame? It's because I've adopted the lie that true Christianity is performance-based. "I must act right for God to like me," I tell myself. And why do I tell myself this nonsense? Because this is what many in the Church tell me. They accept me as long as I act like a Christian. Hmmm, makes me wonder just how many people in our local churches are believers when we just focus on performance and not the heart—the outward and not the inner man.

“We believe in the substitutionary death of Christ, but I don't think we really believe in the substitutionary life of Christ,” my spiritual hero said. Paul also says in Romans that it is His kindness that leads us to repentance. That was also written to believers like you and me. But we (pastors, elders, deacons, Sunday school teachers, youth pastors, small group leaders, church pew warmers) tend to think it is our wrath that will lead a person to repentance. It is our chastisement that will cause a believer to act right. How wrong we are. How backwards we have become. How perverted we have made His grace. We are, in effect, playing God.

By grace, He loves me where I am and kindly leads me where I should be. By sin, we love others only when they act more like we think they should act. By grace, He showers me with mercy. By sin, we lay down rules and regulations by which our church members should live. By grace, I am free. By sin, I am bound. There is a way of thinking that binds men and women in churches—holiness is limited to outward actions. “Let me see your works, and I’ll believe you have faith.” Interesting how we mistake James’ words (James 2). They continue, “And when I see your faith, then I’ll love you and accept you.”

But I’ve seen a difference. I’ve seen a difference in my life and in the lives of the people in my church. This difference is founded on real agape (love). It is calm, gentle, and kind. It is not forceful. It does not envy, nor boast. It believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things. Don’t think for a second that it is weak and passive. For it is just the opposite. It is fearless and powerful. It is impossible for humanity to comprehend because it is not of this world. And out of this divine agape is the net that catches me when I fall. According to Paul, it is always, always greater than my sin. The substitutionary life of Christ is full of this, and it motivates my inner man to be holy.

It’s called GRACE. Love it. Live it. Give it away.

Authentic Fellowship Keeps Pastors Sane

It's amazing what God is doing at Faith Bible Church where I get to pastor. In years past, I've felt like the Lone Ranger meeting people's needs in my congregation. From counseling to advising to...well,...just about everything: friendships, moderating between spouses, reconciling, and the list goes on and on. If you're a pastor, you know just what I mean. If I'm not careful, pastoring can suck every ounce of energy out of my life.

Well, I've been preaching through a series on biblical fellowship. I've called it Journey to Freedom: The Pursuit of Authentic Fellowship for the Church. I stand astonished at the results I'm witnessing, and I'm only halfway through this series.

The results are real. Loads and loads are being taken off my shoulders, and the "burden" of carrying so many people's burdens is being distributed to other members of my congregation. As I preach on simple things, like loving one another, and bearing one another's burdens, they seem to be catching on. And I find myself able to do things better because I'm not the only "pastor" anymore. David and Charles and Cathy and Cindy and Pamela and William are "pastoring" people in my church.

Part of this Journey to Freedom process I teach is called the 70-12-3-1 Principle. This principle is making drastic changes in how our church views one another. Instead of seeing one another as casual acquaintances with whom we "attend church," we are beginning to see one another as what we really are...the Body of Christ, a thriving and flourishing family of the royal priesthood. And as such, we desperately need each other. We are being real with one another, overcoming our fears of rejecting one another because we realize we all have those fears. Jane is calling Martha for advise and encouragement and just to vent. Jane finds Martha trustworthy because Martha loves Jane right where she is. Jane doesn't call me as much anymore, so I can spend more time with Jack. The ministry is being shared, just like we're taught in Ephesians 4, "equip the saints for the work of ministry."

Something else I'm noticing about all this...visitors are much more interested in becoming a permanent part of our church. They are drawn in because they see Christ's loved expressed in deep, meaningful ways. They see real people helping and loving one another, being gracious with one another. They see God glorified by our genuine love for Him and for each other.

So, today I find myself thinking, "Biblical fellowship makes people authentic. Shallow fellowship keeps people wearing fake masks. Biblical fellowship makes my job easier. Shallow fellowship stresses me out. Why didn't I preach this series a long time ago?"

So, What Can We Do?

This question came up at the latest Free Grace Alliance Conference in Dallas, Texas in October. We had just spent three days investing our time listening to men of God pouring into us truths of God’s word pertaining the fact that one is saved by trusting in Jesus alone, that He died on the cross for our sins and rose from the dead. I thoroughly enjoyed these speakers—soaking in all the nuances and gaining wisdom and understanding from God’s word. Many of these men are heroes of mine. Speaker after speaker, workshop after workshop offered great counsel on the scriptures, defending it rightly, dividing it accurately, and demanding that we…well, I’m not quite sure.

At the end of one of the last sessions a speaker entertained a question from the audience. The questioner asked, “So, what can we do?” It was a great question—one I had in my mind, and probably one others had, as well. We had discussed the clarity of the gospel for three days. We had listened to papers read by hard-working pastors and authors dedicated to the simplicity of the gospel. We had heard another viewpoint on James chapter two. We had heard the state of the Free Grace Alliance movement, and its rift with the Grace Evangelical Society. But, we also heard about five minutes of “what we can do”.

You see, one man was invited to speak about the free online evangelism courses offered by EvanTell. The website, www.act111.org, is excellent—I went through it, and it has helped me incredibly in sharing the gospel with others. (No, this blog is not a commercial for EvanTell. They have no idea I’m writing this.) This one man was given about five minutes to talk about what was needed most…action.

At the beginning of this conference we were told we would not be grinding down doctrine for three days. And, for the most part, we didn’t. There were no splitting hairs over “what would happen if” theologies. It was all in very good taste—very, well, grace-oriented. Yet, at the end of the conference I felt I had sat through enough lectures that answers the question, “What is the gospel?” I must say, if we don’t know what the gospel is, how could we share it? So I’m not belittling the importance of this. But I do wonder if most, if not all, of us at the FGA conference in Dallas were there either because we knew well the free grace gospel, or because we needed to. OK, perhaps there could be a few who needed to become aware of the simplicity of the gospel. Perhaps those should be evangelized?

Which leads me to the answer to the question first presented, “So, what can we do?” The man who asked this question received his answer. Remember, we had enjoyed three days of great information on the gospel. I hope and pray my tone in this blog is not taken in any way except gratefulness for the Free Grace Alliance. However, I was disappointed in the answer received to our brother’s question, “So, what can we do?”

Recently, I attended another conference in Louisiana. The topic was the Emergent Church movement. I had researched some of the details of this movement but was still shocked as I heard more of the dynamics and dangers the Emergent Church is producing in churches in America. One thing that struck me was how active those within this movement are. At one time, to be “missional” was to spread the clear gospel of Jesus Christ to the nations, but this word has taken on a completely different meaning for the Emergent Church.

But “missional” is their way of life. It is their hands-on activity. It is the blood that flows through the veins, offering sustenance for their movement to continue forward.

They do things. They don’t just sit and devour information about their movement. They don’t grind down the tiniest details of their ideologies. They know their stuff. And they know that they know their stuff (whatever that stuff actually is), so they are out there plowing and spreading and planting and reaping.

Back in Dallas, at the Free Grace Alliance Conference, there were many workers at the hotel where the conference was held. During the three days of gospel information, I wonder if anyone shared this good news with any of those workers. I confess I did not. Only five minutes were given to one speaker who spurred us onward to proclaim this good news. It is good news.

I was one of the youngest at this conference. I am thirty-five years old. Most who attended had gray hair. The Emergent Church has a future. They thrive on the energy of college-age and young adults. Their question was answered. They know what to do. And they are busy doing it, albeit, an unbiblical doing.

I spent a couple hundred dollars attending this conference. It really was a great conference—worth every cent. I look forward to next year. I learned several new things. One thing I learned saddened me, though. The answer to the question, “So, what can we do?”

To which the speaker replied, “I don’t know.”

And the people there laughed. I am not laughing. I want to do something. I’m a young pastor of a church of approximately fifty people. My ministry is growing, and I’m learning so much. One thing I’ve learned is that very few Christians actually share the gospel with others. In fact, very few pastors do, and aren’t we supposed to be paid for doing this (tongue-in-cheek)? If it is good news, if it is worth spending a couple hundred dollars and three days in Dallas (no offense my Dallas friends), and if it requires certain necessary divisions such as the one between GES and FGA, then it must be worth sharing it with, at least, one waitress at the FGA banquet on Tuesday night. What about the clerks behind the desk at the hotel? It was a very nice hotel—I hope we get the same one next year.

What about the waiters at the Spring Creek Barbeque where we scarfed down ribs on Monday night? I didn’t even give them a tract. I must have passed by a hundred souls during my stay in Dallas, learning about the clarity of that which saves souls from Hell. In what am I more interested—taking this information to build my local church to a certain number, gaining new weapons to argue with my Calvinist friends, inheriting greater doctrinal knowledge, sell books, buy books, promote my ministry, or build the Kingdom of God.

Oh, the Kingdom. The plenary speaker at this conference was fantastic. He spoke of the Kingdom in such a way that opened my eyes to new motivations of righteous and gracious living. And the motivation to share this good news with others sank deep into my heart.

So, what can we do? “I don’t know” isn’t a good answer. Grant it, the speaker who replied with “I don’t know” was put on the spot, and I understand that. I might’ve replied with that, as well. Nonetheless, if the simplicity of the gospel is at stake, then souls are at stake. Then the glory of Christ is at stake. The glory of Christ is at stake. (Yes, I typed that sentence twice.) Because that is the foundation of what we were at the FGA Conference for—the gospel. His good news being received by lost persons because of energized believers who know the simple gospel and share it passionately, lovingly, graciously…the glory of Christ. It is at stake.

“I don’t know.”

Oh, again, I don’t blame that dear speaker. I’m quite fond of him, actually. He has passion—I saw it in his presentation. I just wonder if conferences like this are solving the problem of the glory of Christ is at stake. Maybe it is, but I’m just not convinced. What can we do?

In wrapping up this blog, I confess that “I don’t know” is mostly my answer, as well. But, I believe it has something to do with evangelism. That word is not just suited for VBS.

Websites for the above mentioned ministries:

www.act111.org

www.freegracealliance.com

Why Men in the Church Keep Their Secrets part 3

Now, I must state this...I can't imagine the torture that so many church leaders have had to endure in their struggle to find the best answer when ambushed with a situation like that mentioned above. I've talked with such leaders. There's insomnia, depression, they can't eat, and their families see the pain associated with the "loss" of a friend. For so long, this brother (who was caught in sin) was known as a certain kind, thoughtful, and generous man, and now these church leaders feel betrayed. Great times were shared with lots of laughter and joy. But now the leaders know a different man. This brother has been fooling them all. As the shock of the realness of the situation begins to wear off, bitterness and anguish begins to set in. And the last thing they want for the rest of their congregations is for them to feel what the leadership is feeling...fear and anger.

I would like to break here and open this blog up for your comments. Have you been a leader in a church that has had to deal with a sinning brother like this? Have you been a brother that has been dealt with by your church leaders? Are you the wife of such a one? A son or daughter? What do you think the restoration process for a sinning brother within the local church should look like?

Share with me your story. So many churches just are equipped to handle ambushes like this. I believe we all have something to learn.

Why Men in the Church Keep Their Secrets part 2

So, you're a guy who struggles with porn. In your church, another fella was caught in a sexually-related sin that started with porn addiction, and his church leaders thought it would be best if this fella would just leave. You know you need help, but now there is no way you would ever seek help from your church.

Or, maybe your church seems to have just swept the issue under the rug. Nothing was done to help the guy who fell. Everyone just continues on in church life like nothing ever happened. Either way, you aren’t getting help, because this guy never got it! What motivation you might, at one time, had in telling someone in your church your struggles has just vanished.

WHAT?! If the church isn't the place to free folks from the power of sin, then what is? Professional counselors are needed. I’ve needed them. But I’m convinced that if the local church ever became what she has been called to be, then many professional counselors could be out of a job.

Ministry is people. I really like this passage from Matthew 9:

³⁷Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. ³⁸Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.”

The harvest to which Jesus was referring was apparently lost Jewish people who had come to hear Him. What a plea from the Savior for us to pray to the Father to send out laborers to spread the good news of salvation! Yet, there is another principle in this passage from which we can take. It shows the compassion that Jesus has for people in general. The verses just before this recalls Jesus being overcome by emotion when He saw His hurting people.

There is a vast harvest in our churches today. A big part of this harvest contains Christian men who are on the road to destruction. We need laborers who are compassionate as Jesus is—compassionate enough to enter the world of these men and offer hope, peace, direction, and help them see the way out of their darkness. The Church needs laborers who have removed their fake masks and let others see them for who they really are—warts and all. For we all are stupid. But we are all precious. Christian men must see one another for who we really are. We must bring up the obvious and deal with it. But it begins with you. Someone in your church needs to champion this cause. Someone needs to be passionate about people like Jesus is, and begin this phenomenal thing called fellowship. Would it be right for this “someone” to be a pastor, elder, deacon, or some other church leader? I reckon so.

…to be continued…again.

(Look for my new book Journey to Freedom: The Pursuit of Authentic Fellowship Among Men, coming out soon!)

Why Men in the Church Keep Their Secrets part 1

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians: "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." (6:1-5 NIV)

I have known many Christian men who have fallen into sexual sins. They've been caught. They've been confronted. They've confessed. They've repented. And then...they were removed. That's right...removed from fellowship--shunned as a tax collector. Some were told that they are not allowed to come back until further notice. Some were just "put into the church corner" to suffer consequences. All the while, countless other Christian men in these churches are struggling with the same sins, or are quickly on their way to its destruction.

Think with me...you're a guy who is a part of a thriving church. You struggle weekly with viewing pornography on the internet. That stimulus has lost some effect, so you've been tempted to enter 24-hour video stores. You know very well where these activities would lead you. You know you need help, but to whom should you go? To whom should you tell your deep, dark secrets? Then, you receive word that another church member has been caught cheating on his wife. It comes out that his problem started (like most of these problems start) with viewing pornography. Astonishingly, you see how your church leadership handles this guy. They confront him. Then they tell him that he should stay away from the fellowship for a while. They communicate with him only through email. No one calls to check on him. No one seeks to restore him. No one seeks to care for his wife, or kids. Nothing is ever said about him anymore in the church. He's just ... gone.

Now, you're the guy struggling with porn, and you just witnessed all this. Then you think the obvious, "I need help, but there is no way I'm gonna tell anyone here!" And so, you keep your secrets, and fall further into the dark sin that has taken you captive.

Unfortunately, this is far too common in our churches today. I'm sure there are several reasons for this, but I have a theory. I'm convinced that churches in America today are striving to build their own empires. These empires must be well-greased machines that run smoothly with no hick-ups. The bottom line for these churches are programs that are successful at bringing in people. Money is the bottom line. A good-standing status in the community is the bottom line. All the cogs of this empire must continue to be working so well together. It has become powerful, untainted, unharmed, well-planned and executed. It has become an empire. And then, someone comes along and screws it all up.

Churches in America have lost this one profound principle: Ministry is people.

-to be continued.

The Alpha and the Stallion

They say to train a great stallion one must begin immediately after the horse is born. A halter is placed on it to teach it to lead, obey commands, and other necessary skills. He can’t be ridden until he’s three-years-old, or else his back will sway. Too much pressure at too early an age could cause harm. But as he grows, his bones strengthen and his muscles build and become solid. Stallions posses a certain male hormone called testosterone. This hormone can make these magnificent creatures unpredictable, hard to manage or handle, uncooperative and sometimes dangerous. But this is also what makes the stallion such a magnificent animal. When the stallion is well-trained by professionals, his ability for greatness increases dramatically. He is hard-wired to be this way.

They also say that there is always a pecking order in herds of horses. The stallion is the owner. The other horses are his. He protects them, watches over them, and keeps predators and other strange horses away. The rest of the horses trust him. There’s a special relationship between the stallion and his horses. He is, in essence, their leader.

But he is not the head leader.

The Alpha horse is the head leader. This horse is the one who guides and provides. Even the great stallion is submissive to the Alpha horse. This is dominance in its truest form. And dominance is all about wisdom for the Alpha. The stallion, along with all the other horses in the herd, look to the Alpha with great respect. It is truly amazing to see this beautiful order work among a herd of horses.

If the stallion isn’t cooperating with the Alpha, he can’t lead effectively. If he can’t lead well, danger which lurks in the shadows can overrun the herd. Some could get hurt, or even die. Yet, when humility combines with wisdom, something spectacular occurs…fulfillment for the stallion and security for the herd. All it takes is respect for the Alpha.

My friends, can you see it? Can you see the beautiful picture I’ve painted for you? There are true characters on this canvas.

Can you feel it? Can you feel the energy the stallion possesses as he submits to the Alpha? There’s no one greater. The stallion needs the Alpha. The Alpha works through the stallion. It’s a wonderful partnership—a partnership for life.

Brothers, we are called to lead--lead our wives and children, lead in our churches, lead in our society. Who else better to lead than Christian men who are standing on the truth...who are in tune with our Alpha (and Omega)...who are dedicated to integrity. If we don't lead, think of who will. And if we aren't cooperating with the Alpha, someone could get hurt. It could be us, or our wives, or our children, or our churches. Truth is, it would be all of the above.

However, when we submit to the Alpha, when humility combines with wisdom, nothing but good comes of it. There's safety, harmony, trust, security, significance, honesty, peace, adequacy, joy, happiness. What a place to lead into?!

I write this, my brothers, ...

...because YOU are the stallion.

What is Authentic Fellowship?

Church is people. Plain and simple.

But I think something is missing from many churches. Seems as though several local churches have become local institutions. Some are academic institutions, some are social institutions, some are just existing. I think that people are missing out on something. I think men in the Church are missing out on something. The bottom line for the Church is people. Plain and simple. The top goal for the Church is to glorify God, and this is done when the Church realizes that it's about people. Ministry is people.

And men are people. But many men are missing. Some are there, but still missing.

I’m convinced that God has created something very special for His people that is very often misunderstood. I believe Christian men are missing this. I believe this special thing attracts men, and it keeps men. It upholds men—enabling us to stand up tall when emotions are down. It ties a tight bond around us that is permanent. Its bond is strong and thick. It protects. It never yields. It never fails.

Its pillars are togetherness, not separateness; godly love, not hate; edification, not tearing down; individuality and unity, not legalism, nor division. It is deep, not shallow. Purposeful, not accidental. Mostly hard to accomplish, not easy. But its foundation is the Savior, and its finishing touches are maximized joy! Its name is Fellowship. And we must have it, for without it, we will die.

Christian men are dying. Slowly, but surely.

Fellowship is misunderstood in many churches. I've witnessed it. Planned fellowship within a local church tends to involve casual discussions regarding day-to-day events, some prayer time, and the study of doctrine. Are these things wrong? No, but I don't believe this is fellowship. I don’t believe folks intend to keep fellowship in its shallow state. I’m convinced that we haven’t been taught the true meaning of biblical fellowship, nor have we been shown what it looks like. It is my opinion that there is a lack of biblical fellowship, and Christian church-going men are suffering the consequences. iMetochoi Ministries exists to challenge Christian men to become partakers of Christ together. This involves biblical fellowship. It belongs in the family and in the Church. We must declare God’s view of fellowship from His word and show its brilliant colors in the ministries of our churches.

Our New Testament English word fellowship comes from the Greek word koinonia. In its basic form, the word means “the act or condition of sharing something in common.”[1] It is translated in various passages as contributing (giving), sharing, participation, and fellowship. So the word has with it the connotation of giving toward someone the thing(s) they need, whether it be experiences, undertakings, or possessions.

Probably the most famous passage that deals with fellowship is in 1 John 1,

¹That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of life—²the life was manifested, and we have seen, and bear witness, and declare to you that eternal life which was with the Father and was manifested to us—³that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.

The Apostle John made his point that his letter was about fellowship. This wasn’t ordinary fellowship—but fellowship with him and the other apostles and with God. According to John, he was in deep, intimate fellowship with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. Notice the pattern in verse one: we have heard, …seen …, …looked upon …, handled. Each word used becomes more intense. John and the other apostles heard the life (Jesus), they saw Him, they looked upon (literally, gazed intensely), and their hands have actually touched Him. No wonder these apostles have such an intense, intimate fellowship with God! They grew closer and closer to Jesus as they spent time with Him. They watched with awe the many miracles Jesus performed. Their eyes gazed upon Him at His transfiguration! They were glued to Him at His resurrection! They touched His glorified body! They witnessed His ascension! All the while, they grew more in love with their Savior—they became intensely connected emotionally, spiritual, and mentally.

The principle I get out of this pattern is that fellowship occurs when we grow closer to the individual with whom we already have a relationship. There is the aspect of quality time spent with this individual. The purpose of this time is to give to one another, share with one another, and participate in the lives of one another.

Yet, notice that in verse 3, John uses only two of the four words from verse 1, seen and heard. The reason is obvious when understanding John’s main point—fellowship. Only the apostles spent time with Jesus, i.e., gazed intensely upon Him. Only the apostles were close enough and intimate enough to touch Him. I can only imagine that when John wrote that part he thought of times when he laid his head on the chest of His Messiah! No one can explain moments like that. No one else had experiences like these. Only the apostles.

I believe John experienced biblical fellowship with Jesus because Jesus made it His priority to get into the life of John and the other disciples. Fellowship takes initiative. It makes people a priority.

I believe Christian men crave true, biblical fellowship. I'm one of them. It is my opinion that when we grasp the fact that ministry is people, we would pursue biblical fellowship. I think fellowship motivates men to be a part of church life. It gives them a connection, a sense of belonging and acceptance, and it brings healing, warmth, depth, and wholeness to individuals within the body. Biblical fellowship is not passive, but active. It takes initiative. If Bob is an uninvolved member of his church, George doesn’t wait for Bob to come to him for fellowship, George goes to Bob. The love of Christ takes first initiative (1 John 4:10).

A wise man once said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” I’m convinced Christian men are missing out on true, biblical fellowship. Men need to get into the lives of each other. We need to know that we all struggle with the same things--different degrees of it, but the same things. We need each other. We need fellowship.

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[1] Dunn, James D. G., Word Biblical Commentary, Romans 9-16 38B, Word Books, Dallas, pp. 874-75.

Why iMetochoi Ministries?

This is about Christian men. But the ladies should read it, too.

I grew up in a Christian home. My dad has always been my biggest supporter, best friend, spiritual leader, and qualified authority figure. He has poured his life into me. He entered my world. We have experienced intimate fellowship with each other. It wasn’t always perfect, but was just what I have needed to keep me on track. I wasn’t always perfect, either. But God used my dad to instill in me the characteristics of a godly man. He didn’t just tell me how to live godly, he showed me how.

God has blessed me beyond measure through my parents. My mom and dad made home life warm, welcoming, loving, caring, and uplifting. Dad tells me, even today, that he’s my biggest fan, and by his actions, I believe it. When I did well, I was praised. When I screwed up, I was gently and firmly disciplined. I couldn’t lie to my parents. The times I did only lasted for a while, and were followed by confession. I believe one reason I had a hard time lying is because my parents built a solid, healthy relationship with me. I hated to hurt them. I knew I could always talk to them about anything. I knew I could always talk to my dad about the things with which guys struggle. I still do today.

Dad taught me many things over the years: perseverance, integrity, compassion, humility. He taught me how to love God, how to love others, how to love my wife, and how to love my children. But one thing that has always stuck deepest within my heart is the one thing that supports those characteristics. Dad taught me the importance of accountability. As long as I can remember, he has asked me questions. He has always wanted to know my thoughts, my dreams, and my ambitions. I don’t remember a time when his only question was, “How are you doing?” He has always wanted to know why. Dad knew me because it was his passion to do so. And my mom has always been as eager to know me as dad has been. She has been the rock in my life—unwavering and unshakeable. My dad continues on his quest to know me more even to this day, and the result is intimacy with my heavenly Father. In fact, I am experiencing intimate fellowship with my heavenly Father today, because I have experienced intimate fellowship with my earthly father throughout my life. Dad showed me what biblical fellowship is—what it looks like, what it feels like. Now, as an adult, I am able to sharpen him as he sharpens me. He taught me how to do so.

Growing up with this kind of dad, with these kinds of fellowship experiences, has created a passion within me to be authentic with other Christian men. Second to the family, there is no better place where this genuine fellowship must be experienced than within the Church. Yet, my experience with men’s ministries in the local church has been far from what I’m convinced God desires it to be. I know many Christian men who were leaders, several of them pastors, in local churches—strong, Bible-believing, solid doctrinal-teaching churches—who have fallen far enough into the sins that tempt all Christian men so that they have lost their positions as leaders and pastors. Something isn’t working. Something needs to be fixed.

As I am writing this, I am sitting in a restaurant waiting for a good friend to go on his break so we can visit. He was once a leader in a church. He had a marvelous ministry. He has a beautiful wife and three wonderful children. Now, he works the drive-through window of this restaurant. He chose to work here when he chose to fall into temptation. As Steve Farrar put it in his book Finishing Strong, my friend’s sin took him farther than he wanted to go, kept him longer than he wanted to stay, and cost him more than he wanted to pay. My heart very deeply feels two things: I am incredibly broken over his crisis, and am truly frightened because it could very well be me. I love my friend very much and am so moved to walk by his side through the tough times he has ahead. The sadder thing is that he is just one who got caught. He has repented and is growing more in his relationship with Jesus and with his wife and children. However, there are many Christian men who have not been caught…yet. They are sinking deeper and deeper in the misery that their sin brings. They long for freedom, and they know from where it comes. Yet, to remove their cover and let someone see them as they really are would cost them more than they were prepared to pay when they first entered this journey toward destruction. They are torn with a decision: tell all and suffer, or continue in sin and suffer. They know that to tell would lead ultimately to freedom, and to continue in sin would lead ultimately to more destruction. But at least the sin is somewhat fun. Many men who have fallen have told me that they wanted to get caught. They just couldn’t hold up anymore underneath the heavy load of sin and deception. Our Christian men—dads, husbands, elders, deacons, Sunday school teachers, pastors, worship leaders, youth pastors, ushers, old men, young men—are bombarded with the temptation to dive into the sin that seems to pursue us all. And many Christian men have endured the train wrecks that their sin always, always brings. Our men need help. We need to enter each other’s worlds!

So the Church of Jesus Christ has the opportunity, but men’s ministries usually consist of coffee, donuts, a special speaker giving a devotion, sharing prayer requests regarding other people’s problems, and a few leading in prayer. While relationships are being built, something is lacking. Why are we surprised when another man falls? There seems to be a lack of genuine fellowship and authentic accountability. I’m convinced that relationship with fellowship tends to lead to true accountability. We may know each other, but let’s be honest. We really don’t know each other, do we? Think about a man in your church. You might know his name. You might know his wife’s name—perhaps even the number of children he has. What about his personality and characteristics? What are his pet peeves? What does he struggle with the most? Does he feel alone in his struggles? Is he pursuing the “other woman”? Is he indulging in pornography? Or is he neglecting his family because of the pursuit of money or position? Is he experiencing intimacy with the Father? Is someone there to help him when he fails? Is there someone to praise him when he excels? Are there other men actively showing him how to live godly? Are the men in your church actively entering each others’ worlds? Are the Christian men in your church truly sharpening each other with the word of God, or is it just another social club that meets once, or twice a month? Guys don’t talk about these things, but it’s high time we begin.

I believe we should and could have churches where we, men, are trained and encouraged to be the spiritual leaders in our homes, in our churches, and in our work places. We should and could have churches where the men’s ministries are focused on authentic relationships, real fellowship, and true accountability. This doesn’t come easily for us. What does this look like? How do we establish this kind of ministry?

iMetochoi Ministries exists to be a league of men dedicated to honor the Father with our lives. We are The League of Metochoi who recognize our imperfections, realize God’s grace, and receive God’s power to together become the spiritual leaders of our homes, our churches, and our work places. We challenge men to get on the frontlines of the battle for our families, for our churches, for our Savior. Together, we will sharpen, encourage, exhort, confront, and challenge each other to know God more and experience His power in our lives. We desire to challenge Christian men to become partakers of Christ together—to become His metochoi.